Thank you so much for your insights in response to my question yesterday. Very helpful.
Reading what you said, I realized I don’t genuinely want more time for my work. I just want the weight of childcare duties to be equally shared by my husband and me, and I’ve been banging my head against that wall for the 5 years that we’ve had kids.
I see how this unrealistic idea is not serving me at all. Life is not fair and things are not going to be equal.
I am finding that I need to clean up my thinking around being with my kids in general, and being alone with my kids in particular. A lot of negative thoughts there for sure, like it’s hard and stressful and there are many things I would rather be doing by myself and for myself (like reading, writing, drawing, relaxing).
I think it’s a key piece of the puzzle: I need to change my thinking so I can feel at ease, excited and joyful about being with my kids, through the easy and the hard stuff. When that’s the case, I won’t be resentful that my husband asks me to do it, I will do it with love and joy, for me, whether he needs me to or not.
What’s frustrating to me is that this whole thing was the very first subject on which I cleaned up my thoughts when I joined in February, and I saw amazing progress, but I let my guard down, and the old thoughts crept right back up.
I’ve been working on exciting projects lately (just launched my own podcast!) and working late from excitement, so I’ve become pretty tired and it seems to require more effort to keep my brain in check then. Is that a common experience?
The good news is, I have all the new thoughts ready for me to practice them again. 🙂 And I know it’s a process, and five years of thinking can’t be undone in just a month of self-coaching. I can do this!
I loved how you said you could insert your own problem in other people’s situations during the coaching calls. I’ve gotten help about this from the last call for sure!
Thank you for all of your support, it makes such a difference.