Thank you so much. I feel much happier and have clarity. I have done another intentional model that I would like your opinion on please.
This was your response was, my new one is underneath::
C: Another human will speak words and consume a beverage on my birthday
T: He will go on and on and get confrontational
F: Sick
A: Try to defend, deflect the conversation
R: I go on and on and I am confrontational

The reason you feel sick is because of your judgment of your brother.

You are judging your brother for judging.

Crazy right?

He judges people of a different race.

You judge him.

Your judgment of him is that he should behave differently.

We all judge.

That’s how our brains are wired.

We just feel sick when we do.

He feels sick when he judges someone of a different race.

You feel sick when you judge him.

To get to an intentional model you can start by asking yourself:

How do I want to think and feel about my brother on my birthday?
How can I be an example of love and inclusion in this situation?

C – Brother will speak words at my birthday dinner
T – That’s okay. Its his opinion & I don’t agree with it and that’s fine.
F – Relaxed
A – Let him speak. Don’t react.
R – I will feel more compassion for him, I’ll feel okay about the evening. I can still love him but don’t have to agree.
Am I on the right track? It sure feels better. Thank you