Follow up questions about online dating

A coach responded to me about dating online and me just needing to believe that there was one man on the app that might be suitable for me. If there’s only one and I have to look through thousands, I don’t think I have the endurance for that. It’s such an exhausting process to look through all the profiles that if there is only one and not at least two or three, then it’s like I feel I’m wading through an obstacle course with live landmines buried everywhere and I have to run it to get a shot at having to audition for a plastic medal at the end. No way thinking that there is only one man on a dating app that is right for me is ever going to be motivating. I did find one man I liked and he rejected me. So, if there is only one man and he rejects me, then what? I keep going? I only need 500 more rejections to find someone who might not reject me? Anyone in their right mind would quit and I don’t know if there is a positive or even neutral thought to overcome that. The other alternative, tricking my brain into finding men attractive that I don’t find attractive doesn’t seem right, either. But I think that’s probably the only option I have at this point. I think I’m going to have to entirely change my standards or convince myself to like men who might have positive traits that I’ll learn to value over time. Also, I’m an introvert. After college, I purposefully took a job where I’d have to do customer service so I could learn how to comfortably interact with people. I learned so much with how to deal with people during the three years I worked in that job, and it was so tiring even though it was a great experience – I’m 100% sure I never want to work in a public facing role ever again. I’ve never been as tired from a job as I was with that one. My social skills are decent, but talking to strangers is not my favorite thing to do. I just turn it on to get through it, but I’m not actually enjoying the initial stages of chit chat. It’s boring and repetitive and I can’t feign interest for that long. For an introvert, I am having a rough time thinking that dating is fun. I do all the right things when I meet for a date: I dress up nicely, wear makeup, do my hair, show up on time, offer to pay, think of topics ahead of time to talk about with my date, make suggestions about fun things to do, and for all the effort, to come up empty-handed over and over is tiring and not fun. For me, what’s fun is winning. Not constant losing to other women and to be blown off all the time. I hate flirting. I do it, but I force it. Yes, I feel inadequate and like I have to do all the right things to even make it to the table. I just don’t feel engaged and really dislike the discomfort of getting to know people. As you can tell, I’ve been white knuckling it in almost all social situations for my whole adult life. Making friends and connections is really hard for me and I tend to avoid it whenever possible. I’m not sure how to fix this.