Follow up to organizing w/o husband on board


Filled-out model from coaching on previous question about my husband and I disagreeing on decluttering:

C: My husband said he doesn’t want to get rid of things because “we might use them later”
T: I want to get rid of stuff and he doesn’t
F: Baffled
A: Stall on decluttering projects, tiptoe around conversations about decluttering, think of ways to bring it up in a way he will understand/get on board with, indulge in confusion about what I can get rid of on my own, ask for his input on everything, think about the things I want to get rid of because we don’t use them but he wants to keep because we might, get frustrated with his point of view
R: We don’t get rid of as much stuff as I want to

I’m not clear on why the T in this model is a T. How is it not a circumstance that I want to get rid of things and he doesn’t, if we’ve both said “I want to get rid of stuff” and “I don’t want to get rid of stuff”?

I’m making our difference of opinion mean that we’ll always have more stuff than either of us want because I won’t be “free” to get rid of stuff that is “his” and he’s undecided about, and he won’t speak up about the things he questions that we’re keeping because he doesn’t see the need to have them.

I see it as a problem because both of us don’t want to deal with moving so much stuff when we move next year but he’s holding on to “his” stuff like he’d never be able to buy it again if he actually decided to use it in the future.

I suppose if none of this was a problem for me I’d just let whatever happens, happen, work on reducing the amount of “my stuff” and hope without expectation that by my example he’ll start getting rid of stuff on his own.

Something else that is happening is that he doesn’t want me to get rid of some clothes that no longer fit me because either a) he bought it for me or b) it matches something he has. I don’t wear these clothes anymore and they just take up space.