a followup- on turning around contribution

hello again
went to the gym, worked out, listened to some heavy metal 🙂 and then realized a deeper issue of my belief about my right around contribution,
would like to say again I appreciate in advance your willingness to go deep when necessary

the core psychological issue seems to be the right to thrive
so I believe the tackling of my hesitancy around contribution 100% to my work is related to unintentional thoughts around the right to thrive

absorbing messages from my mother about wishing I’d never been born, accident baby etc

t-I am not allowed to thrive
t-I am meant to not be here
t-I am not meant to be here
t-I do not belong here

t- I am meant to be here because I am here
t-I have amazing things to offer the world
t-I would not be given this thought contrast if I were not meant to conquer it
t-i have been given this thought contrast exactly because I am meant to conquer it

some of the toughest challenges bring us the greatest rewards

what are your thoughts
many thanks Dr B