I struggle with moving from the unintentional to the intentional model.
My partner and I were breaking up last December. I was really hurt by things he did and said then. We started talking and seeing us again just the last month.
I enjoy seeing him. It’s moving slow and that’s ok. But every time I think about the future, thoughts like the following come up.

Unintentional Model:
C: Our past – we started seeing us again.
T: I’m unable to forgive him for what he did and said to me
F: Anger
A: my body tenses up every time this thought comes up. Thoughts like “he does’t see how painful it was for me” and “I still feel the pain” follow. I react hostile towards him. I blame him. I hold him responsible.
R: Situation feels stuck. I’m stuck in my anger and pain.

Intentional Model:
C: Our past – we started seeing us again
T: I can forgive him.
F: peaceful
A: ?
R: ?

Thank you so much!