I found out today my friend died on October 29th.
She was 79. I am 53.
She was a nun. I am a mom.
She wore a full habit. I wear pretty mom clothes.
She was 5’10”. So am I.
She was Irish. So am I.
She was from NY. I am from KY.
She gave the best hugs. I hugged back.
She danced in her office (in full habit) to Dancing Queen by Abba. My kids danced with her.
She embodied love. I loved her and it felt good for me.
Today when I found out she died I cried.
I played Dancing Queen 5 times.
I cried and thought of her and remembered our times together.
I feel sad.
This is the contrasting emotion to love when you lose someone who is dear.
Thank you for teaching me to allow sadness. This is an emotion I chose to feel. I wouldn’t have know this feeling if I hadn’t loved her and if she hadn’t chosen to show love to me.
Thank you for teaching me not to buffer my sadness with wine, snacks, and pushing the sadness away.
I am made to feel love and I am made to feel sadness. And that’s ok.