I have been struggling with bouncing back after a terrible end to March and now it is July and I have no idea how I can turn the year around. This is probably the perfect opportunity to rewrite my past using the tools from this month. I have this image in my mind of an amazing start to the year, even though it was scary and new and challenging and then I fell in love with someone that completely made thought work seem irrelevant to me, as if focusing on this person was the purpose of my life. Then that purpose is just gone and I’m left with me and my old buffers re-entering my life and they are the only way I can occupy myself. I don’t know how to slow down my life enough to steer the ship back on course. I’m not sure I can bounce back from four months lost. Clearly, these are all thoughts so my main model is
C – 2018
T – I’m not sure I can bounce back from four months lost
F – disappointed
A – buffer, avoid thinking about the future, break commitments
R – I don’t bounce back
I have gotten really good recently at feeling disappointed (especially with my person leaving me), but not without buffering it away. Maybe that would be the first step instead of just trying on a new thought? However, I want to feel excited about the rest of the year… I really want a way to interpret these last few months in a way that serves me but I’m so in it and escaping myself that I don’t seem to have any perspective.