Frequency of sex

My husband and I have tension in our relationship about the frequency of sex. It has been an issue since day 1 but i feel like it has gotten more pronounced since we had kids (13 years ago). I often feel exhausted and overwhelmed by the duties of being a mom and running a household. And to some degree resentful about my perceived lack of support from my husband. We have spend much time in counseling discussing all of these issues. But I feel like it comes down to me not feeling connected to my sexuality. The problem is that I don’t feel particularly motivated to change that. The more pressure I feel from my husband, the less motivated I feel. This is a deal breaker for my husband so I feel like if I can’t get motivated, we are at risk for divorce.