My best friend lives in a different world than me and is beginning to have different political views than me. We’ve navigated it well so far, but I’m feeling stuck on choosing how I want to feel about her talking about her life choices that I strongly disagree with. I still WANT to feel angry about things in this world that make me angry (i.e. I wouldn’t choose to change my anger about child abuse and can still accept that child abuse is a neutral consequence). But I’m having trouble approaching the situation in a model with my friend, who I want to feel love towards.
UM: C: Friend sends me a picture of a semi-automatic gun that her husband just bought
T: That is super dangerous and there is NO reason for her to have that in her house with a toddler.
A: seethe, tell husband, side text another friend about how I feel, not respond to gun-text
R: Disconnect from friend
IM: C: Same
T: ????? (maybe: I don’t agree with her choices and that’s ok?)
F: Still choose anger
A: allow the anger without acting on it – know that it will pass (this feels hard for me since I actually do want to feel angry about this circumstance – just not at my friend)
R: anger passes and I can connect with friend from a non-angry place
I’m struggling with this since I feel certain that I don’t want to change my thoughts about my friend having the gun (knowing that that’s an option for me too), but how to not let that affect my relationship with her. It’s been easy for me to accept that she has different political views, but when those views turn into actions that I feel are dangerous for her and her family, the anger and fear intensifies and it’s hard to know what model I’m even in. Help please!