Friend keeps canceling and changing events

I have a friend that likes to plan things, but then cancels or changes the plan right before it takes place. If the plan is something that revolves around her, she will be there at the exact time and not change it or have excuses. If it is about someone else, she will change it or complicate it. When gently confronted about the issue of changing plans so late, she will often reply with something such as “oh I know…” and then will explain an excuse that doesn’t make sense.

For example, when we were shopping for my wedding dress, she all of a sudden couldn’t drive even though she lives directly across from my house, because she had car seats in the car and it was “really hard” to take them out and put them back in.

The latest, most disappointing, icing on the cake situations was this:

She wanted to plan a birthday party for our friend. She said she would make reservations for the winery. She waited a week to make the reservations and only called to make them after the friend, who’s birthday it was, texted the group to find out what exact time the reservation was for. My disappointing friend got upset about the price of the winery…. and said we should do something else instead. Our birthday friend said okay, but I thought that was really lame, considering we had “planned” this for a week. I called the winery and made us a reservation and they kindly waived the fee my disappointing friend was so upset about. Problem solved.

This all happened on Friday and the reservation was for 2:30pm on Monday. Both friends were happy and there were no complaints. Come Sunday night, the flaky friend texts us wanting to know if we could change the reservation to earlier. She somehow forgot that she had to pick up her daughter up from preschool at 3:30 on Monday. This makes no sense because her daughter goes to preschool weekly and is always picked up at the same time. It was once again, a situation where she wanted to change the plans last minute. When we didn’t respond to her within 5 minutes, she sent us both individually multiple texts begging to change the time to 1. A very frustrating situation for me personally, because I don’t care to drink wine for lunch but my birthday friend said that was fine and so the friend changed the time. On Monday, she was almost 30 minutes late to the winery, claiming that her mom was late to watch her son…… as she drank and more details came out, it turns out she didn’t tell her mom to be at her house until 1 and she was 3 minutes late, which caused this friend to be 30 minutes late. When my other friend confronted her about the time, she just said “oh I know…. I guess it was too early”. No remorse.

More lies fell out about the planning as we continued to drink and I’m just really upset with her and disappointed. I’ve been ruminating about all the events she’s made stressful but her constant re-planning last minute. I’ve been ignoring her texts and fuming at the idea that she wants to plan a hike with me a week from now. It’s for early in the morning on a day I would be able to sleep in and if she cancelled I’d be livid and wouldn’t know where to direct my anger since nothing is ever her fault. We have been close since high school and our husbands are best friends and we have a good little group of people. I can tell she feels ignored and has hurt feelings about it, but I don’t know how to deal with her anymore since she doesn’t take responsibility and can’t keep even an easy commitment.