Friend Question

Hey Brooke! My best friend has asked me to happy hour (circumstance) and I know (predicting) that she will talk about all of her trysts with married guys at her work. I have ZERO problem with her trysts. My feeling is that humans get to be humans – so get down with yo’ bad selves. BUT it has become mind-numbingly BORING to hear the same stories about “do they like her, do they not”… “He told me to listen to this song, what do you think it means”. Right now, 100% of her life IS this – and I get it. If you took away the mental drama she’s enjoying around this, she’d really have nothing else. So I get why this is her #1 laser focus. However, 4 hours of it makes me want to run into oncoming traffic. No, no… My thinking about listening to 4 hours of it wants to make me run into oncoming traffic. And this is one of those times where I agree with my brain. “Let’s go run into oncoming traffic,” says my brain! “I’m in!”, I reply!

So — I’ve done a model on this:

C: Friend asked to do Happy Hour
T: I don’t want to hear more “will he/won’t he” repeated stories. I have better things to do.
F: Annoyed
A: Lie to friend that I can’t do Happy Hour
R: I don’t hear any more repeated stories – and I do better things! 🙂

How can I work on this? What’s a better thought here? I’ve written out a bunch – but they’re all a bit too sarcastic to be usable.

I do love my friend. I love her from afar right now. I would like to see her – but I want to talk about more than just her trysts. But I know that’s uncomfortable for her – because that’s it. And I’ve pinched bruises into my sides trying to keep from coaching her on anything… so I’m not certain what I’m left with.

C: Friend Asked to Do Happy Hour
T: I love my friend and I give her just 1 hour to talk about whatever she wants
F: Slightly less annoyed, but still annoyed
A: Grudgingly accept invitation
R: Enjoying seeing my friend – but grit my teeth for 1 hour

Thoughts on this?