Thanks in advance! Yesterday I had a positive realization about an old model, and I’d love your insights/suggestions on what further questions I can consider to learn more from this.
C friend group 1 says words about my body, including some “should” statements
T they shouldn’t say these things to me
A I tense up, I try to avoid the topic, I scrutinize when they make comments about anybody
R I’m shoulding all over the place
moment of realization:
C friend group 2 makes comments about my body/food, no “shoulds”
T [? this is what I’m trying to find and challenge myself to learn from]
A I didn’t make it “about me”; I didn’t tense up, so was able to have a normal convo about their body/food thoughts and move on
R [? not sure, but something good, maybe felt connected rather than defensive]
So, now I realize that with friend group 1, I was generalizing and making any comment about my body into something like “they’re telling me I should/shouldn’t do xyz.” Now I have space to consider that some of their comments are benign, like with friend group 2. I’m thrilled with this. Where I’d like to challenge myself further is considering what else can I learn from this about my Ts about friend group 1 that led me to bristle and generalize and stay in emotional childhood, etc. In addition to a massive thought download and more models, are there any spots/details in what I’ve typed that seem off or seem to be good spots to probe? Thanks so much!