I just had my private coaching session but we ran out of time, so wanted help with my revised model. One of my closest friendships ended on bad terms. No real conversation, just hurt feelings and the COVID, not seeing each other and when I tried to reach out, she needed space, then I gave up. I don’t want to have a difficult conversation with her b/c after considering who I was in this friendship, I don’t want to restore it. I want to be at peace with the fact that our friendship is complete and ‘close the chapter’ …etc.
The challenge is that I live in a small town, we have many mutual friends and often are together in close quarters. She went from being cordial when we saw each other to ignoring me, even in front of people. So the model that I made with my coach was:
C: There is a possibility of seeing my former friend on the tennis court (this seems to be the most difficult situation, so we distilled it down to this)
T: This is going to be hard
F: Anxiety
A: ruminating; replaying possible conversations or interactions in my mind; avoiding signing up for matches where I might see her; avoiding going to mutual friend’s get together for fear of seeing her;
R: Making my life harder (self-perpetuating).
I am having trouble reframing this and finding a thought that creates a desired feeling that I really believe.
Any help appreciated.
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