Friendship – Thought Work

Hi Brooke,

I’m in my mid 30’s where all my circle of friends are now married and starting to have children. I’m in a committed relationship and my partner and we’ve decided to focus our energy and resources (time and money) on chasing our dreams creating art and traveling the world together – these two things brings us so much joy. We haven’t decided on children but we’re leaning towards no. I’m learning that has I’m changing and evolving to this next phase in my life, it looks very different from my peers / circle of friends. I’ve lost a lot of interest in keeping these friendships b/c I do not want to spend my valuable time talking about baby stuff, going to baby showers when I rather be spending time on travel and working on goals/dreams. I’m conflicted with this because when we do meet up with friends my partner is great at being himself, being around our friends who don’t share very much in common with our lifestyle and he has a great time. I want to change my thoughts about this but I’m having a hard time being conflicted by: 1) I value my time and want to spend it discussing and connecting with people who are trying to chase goals / dreams similar to me and not around husbands and baby talk; 2) Should this really be thought work or a decision to end the relationship and find a new group of friends?

I’m spinning in my head with these thoughts and would like your feedback. I just hate going to these events and connecting on a surface level of small talk and baby talk I do care about. But I’m also wondering if I’m missing out on the human connection of showing compassion towards other human beings or being a careless jerk. Thanks!