I’m frustrated and I know it’s because I’m blaming my boyfriend for my F.
I have lost 80 pounds. I am a pro at making my food plan the night before and sticking to it the next day. However, I found myself particularly frustrated this morning when my boyfriend thought we could grill steaks tonight. I said ok, that’s fine, since it’s the morning, I will change my food plan proactively for this evening, no big deal.
Then he comes back and says but wait it might rain so then I can’t grill. I said well can’t you just open the garage and grill right inside the door? He more or less said I could, but it’s possible that rain will wash into the garage. So we landed on our plan A dinner was steaks, plan B dinner was a different dinner I could cook inside, but still different from my original plan I made last night. I have a manual apparently about grilled ribeye steaks, which sounds roughly like if we’re going to thaw the package of two steaks and he’s going to grill, I HAVE to eat it fresh/not as a leftover. If he’s going to go through the trouble of grilling steaks (a somewhat rare occasion), I HAVE TO eat it, not the chili leftovers I had planned.
So it makes sense why I’m frustrated and angry.
Thoughts:
He should decide what he’s eating the night before so then I don’t have to switch my plans the next day. Frustrated.
This exact situation is why I plan my food the night before. Angry.
If he planned like me, I could have avoided this situation. Resentful.
I had to change my food plan for the day because he couldn’t be bothered to think ahead.
I don’t like it when he springs big food/meal plan changes on me after I’ve made my food plan. Annoyed.
I’m wasting precious morning brain energy on this whole situation (because of him)! Fuming
A: Huffed and puffed while I crossed off yesterday’s plan for today’s food in my food journal, wrote in the new meal plan for the day which required me to change my lunch AND my dinner
I recognize that I am a human with free will, and I could have technically said no, I already made my food plan for the day, you’re on your own. I didn’t, I instead chose to argue with reality, and resist the reality that my boyfriend does not plan his meals the night before, and sometimes he suggests meals the next day, regardless of if I made a plan or not. That’s just what he does, and that’s ok. I can choose to eat the steak or not, but ultimately my intentional result would be I calmly and proactively change the plans because I would actually like to have a steak tonight, so I’m happy to change the plans as long as I’m still planning in advance, not reacting and changing all the plans last minute on a whim. I want to be able to make the change to the plan without reacting like a crazy person about it and blaming him for “making” me change them, the “omg he’s so difficult!” discussion in my brain, that is probably evident to him, like I’m probably not hiding it very well and he’s probably onto me lol
I know I can’t change him, or make him plan his meals the night before. Sometimes if I know there’s multiple things he could eat the next night, I’ll ask him the night before after we’re done eating dinner what he thinks he might eat tomorrow, in case I need to cook him something (I’m in charge of cooking), and would need to build that into my schedule for the next day, so it’s nice to know ahead of time if I need to do that. Even if it’s a situation where I’m still totally fine eating leftovers but he’s over it, I’ll still make him something. Sometimes he’s like yeah let’s make xyz thing tomorrow, I’m over these chili leftovers. Totally fine. But I get frustrated when I have to change my plans after I’ve made them.
