Frustrated Musician


So, I have been in Scholars for 11 months. I used to be a private music teacher. Then, I joined scholars and gave up my private teaching to pursue a large format workshop for adults. I also started several concert series. I was on my way to my goal of 100k a year. Last week my income went from close to 10k a month to $500/month because all of my workshops and concerts have been cancelled. For the past several months I have been working on a subscription website that goes live April 5 — I was going to slowly ease into that, but now its my only source of income as a musician (thus the $500). I am battling daily depression and yet still taking action (which feels like hell) toward moving forward to get people to subscribe to my website that is still being built. I have 18 people so far, but need many many more to replace my income. I feel devastated. I don’t know how to pull myself up out of this. Normally I am very motivated, but I can only squeeze a couple hours of work out of myself per day…. I know I could take out a facebook ad, but I also feel I should save that money for food…

I am also so upset that I will have to cancel scholars right before becoming a diamond.

And it feels awful to have most of my income wiped out in one day. I know other people have similar situations. But then there are those people who are saying, “Covid-19 is the best thing that happened to me.” That seems super insensitive and just plain gross.

Here’s my model

C: Income went from 10K/mo to $500/mo in one week
T: Its not true that I can put whatever result I want in the “R” line
F: Anger
A: work at a snails pace, feel anger vibrating throughout my body, wake up at 4 am pissed off, blame other people who make dumb comments that they are thriving in their Covid-19 situations, use anger as fuel to try to get my income back up, anger towards scholars
R: I’m pissed off.