Hi Brooke,

I have been in scholars since September. I just keep getting frustrated with myself. I have done what you suggested, regarding trying to allow negative feelings to be there, allowing and observing, writing down the feelings/sensations etc. Trying not to judge etc. I do thought downloads and i try and practice new positive thoughts. I still have an underlying thought of ‘i am not good enough’. That is a strong thought for me. I am trying laddering the thought to ‘ i am willing to learn to love and approve of myself ‘ but in the back of my head, i find that i have another thought ‘no way, how are you ever going to approve of yourself, you aren’t very good, everyone is better’ etc. I don’t know where to go from here? I am trying modifiers/add on’s, such as ‘ okay so i am not there yet and that is okay’ but part of my mind is saying ‘well no its not okay, as i want to find peace and be happy’. It feels like i am fighting my negative brain.

I find this work way more challenging when i am tired, which is a lot of the time. As i have an illness.

And how do you ‘just accept ‘the way things are? I can say things like ‘ would you prefer to suffer more or try and enjoy this life’ peace or pain? I get the logic but i have deep feelings of inadequacy. I’m feeling a bit upset that i cant move forward from here. I desperately want to. Xxx