Thank you for your response. I have spent months considering this issue from multiple angles. I am comfortable with my boundary and happy with my reasons.

But, I am still unclear on what constitutes a boundary vs ultimatum and how they should be expressed. Let me use Brooke’s examples of boundaries she has created. When does stating to someone, “If you come to my house unannounced, I will not open the door” or “If you hit me, I will leave” become a boundary and not an ultimatum? It seems both statements could be looked at as something you are willing to do to protect yourself/ honor your values *OR* as a statement in which you might be (intentionally or not) trying to change the other person.

Also, would you mind commenting on the 2nd part of my question?

Many thanks for your time and insight!