I had an eating disorder many years ago. I eat normally now and have for a long time. but I still have a fear of being fat. Not for other people. Just for me. I think other people are good the way they are. I still think being thin is important for me though.
I’m almost done with grad school to be an eating disorder therapist. I’m working with these adolescent girls, I don’t want them to think being thin is important. I want them to feel good and happy with themselves, just as they are.
And I feel like a hypocrite because I would not be happy with being heavier than I am now. In fact, I still want to lose a little weight. I feel guilty that I’m telling them to do something that I know I don’t believe for myself.
I’m constantly wondering if is it wrong to tell them that they should be happy with their bodies as they are, when I just so strongly relate to the desire to lose weight? And if this makes me unqualified to help them as a therapist.