Genuineness and artificiality :wanting to want something


Hi. I have a regular exercise routine in the gym. Independently from the fact that it is 1/week or 5/week it is always fueled by obligation. I have a cognitive dissonance related to it:
– thought n1: I am tired, this should feel rewarding so I am doing it wrong
– thought n2: this is your lower brain in action, it is normal it wants to keep you comfortable on the sofa
both of thoughts contain a “should” quality. This keeps me confused, which I know is an indulging feeling. Then I always resolve the conflict waking up in the morning and going to exercise with the automatic pilot. So the exercise itself becomes my way to get rid of the discomfort of the dissonance and the confusion altogether.
Now , instead of obligation, I want to have my exercised fueled of emotions like self-care, energy, joy, self-love.
To achieve that options I see could be:
– quit exercise every time I am going there with the autopilot
– stick to the exercise and be dedicated in being appreciative
Overall, my routine is not something I want but something I need. But I WANT to WANT it. I am sure the idea of wanting to want something you do not yet want applies to many areas you coach people on, from food to relationships, however my mind is not clear on how to process this. I would be super grateful of your advice, thanks