When I talk to my sister long distance over the phone I think there must be a time lag, because I begin responding and then I learn that she wasn’t done. I don’t do this so much in person. And perhaps she pauses between thoughts and I think she is done when she is not done apparently.
Then I ask what she was saying and she says I cut her off and she doesn’t remember.
So, I have my own back,
I am kind, mentally healthy and well and I know I never intend to cut people off especially her.
I believe in myself that I truly thought the sentence or thought was complete.
And in an ideal world where my manual is followed, she would be extremely tolerant of those kinds of ins and outs and minor gaffs that she would go with it, have all the faith that “I did not cut her off”
So here is where I know I need to learn to become so much more tolerant of those moments when she points fingers at me in one way or another. I suspect this has been happening all our life together and that it is the approach she has taken to deal with other people. Interestingly she can be pretty bossy from time to time as well (…and that’s OK)
I am planning on moving to close vicinity with her and I really want to learn to get along with her. She is very supportive of the move.
Here is what I am thinking-
love her no matter what
allow that she has her coping styles and thoughts about everything
allow that she loves me anyway
never blame myself for anything
never blame her for anything
by having my own back, I have her back
How can I learn to do things so that it doesn’t trigger a “you cut me off”?
or a “you broke this glass”
or a “you made me sick”
or a “you broke the piece on the door by slamming it”
Or, do I accept that she will say these things, and I don’t have to agree, and I love her anyway.
This is a great skill to learn for me, I would much rather learn skills to be with people than to be the Hermit I have been in the past