Getting past fear

I am in a relationship with someone who withdraws when I attempt to have conversations about feelings or the direction he sees our relationship heading. We are not young, and still very active at 70 and 71. Our homes are 6 hours apart and I spend a lot of time at his place. I listened to Brooke’s coaching today and she talked about getting to the “why” in terror, making a decision from a negative place. I fear approaching discussions that will help me make better decisions about my future (home, work, business, etc), because the withdrawing can last for a couple of days. He then reengages as if nothing has transpired. My feeling of fear is coupled with a feeling of frustration