Hi Brooke,

I am clarifying the before / after process for the goal I’m working on. Would you say that it is true for you that you are able to relax and enjoy time with your family and still get it ALL done? Is that how you would word it? I’m trying to get into the mind of the person I’m trying to become – who has a good relationship with time and who isn’t stuck in stress and overwhelm most of the time over “all the things to do” and “not enough time.” Here’s the models I’ve come up with:

UNINTENTIONAL:

C – To-Dos Presented
T – I need to fit it all in.
F – Stressed.
A – Try various ways to fit it all in (stay up late, wake up early, sacrifice sleep, rearrange calendar a million different ways, decrease social engagement, withdraw from relationships, attempt to control others inadvertently). Lots of mental energy spent spinning thoughts. Relationships with children is more strained at times when stress can no longer be avoided and is instead reacted to. Less time spent with spouse when he is home because “things need to be done” and / or less present while spending time with spouse because can’t stop thinking about “all the things.” Plan from a place of needing to do things faster but feel resistant to that / don’t give self enough time thereby providing evidence there is not enough time. Don’t share experiences with anyone; keep it all in.
R – Didn’t fit it all in. Feel more stressed. Relationships suffer. Drive self crazy. Repeat.

Solution is not fitting everything in – trying to do that and focusing on that one of the causes of the problem.

INTENTIONAL:

C – To-Dos Presented
T – I keep my life as simple as humanly possible.
F – Focused.
A – Ultra clear on own priorities –honor them. Actions are aligned with priorities. Say no more than yes. Focus on the few things that make the biggest impact in my life – every single day. Self coach. Not distracted by all the things. Utilize a calendar in a simple and effective way. The things I do say yes to – I am fully present, bring my A game, give whatever I’m working on the time and attention it deserves. Relationships thrive. Plan from place of abundance and giving myself plenty of time. Really consider what has to be done (as in what the desired result is and what the required actions are to accomplish + feeling/thought needed) when planning. Plan from that space. Take care of myself. Trust myself. Have my own back. Delegate.
R – I don’t try to fit it all in and don’t care to. Life is simple. I’m able to be a primary care provider AND contribute in the ways I desire WITHOUT the stress and overwhelm – all while feeling more present and engaged and getting more (emotionally) out of everything I do.

My dream come true would be to be able to rest and relax and enjoy family / prioritize those things – without the mind chatter from stress / overwhelm – and ALSO be able to get it ALL done. And so my question here is from your perspective – someone who has a good relationship with time and gets things done and knows how to rest and relax and prioritize that – how do you view this in your mind? Is it realistic to thing that I can prioritize rest / relaxation AND get it all done? Or is that dream come true coming from my mindset of “needing to fit it all in”? Would love to consider your now in my goal after. And also any other words of wisdom / insight regarding the above models (this is also my niche for coaching – I’m just a few chapters ahead of where they are 🙂 ).

Thanks in advance!!