Getting tripped up all of a sudden


I have been following a protocol and doing no sugar/no flour (except for planned exceptions this last month, usually once a week) since January 1st. I got into a really good rhythm with intermittent fasting and two meals a day, and I was losing weight (slowly, but losing) … but more than that, I got to the point where I wasn’t craving sugar/flour or having urges like I used to. I thought I had turned the corner, that I had become the person who could use my prefrontal cortex to sit through the urges and see my life as more exciting than food. I even navigated a two-week work trip and lost weight! Even though I had some slips or changes to my plan, I did great. I was no longer buffering with food. So I felt really empowered and like I had finally figured this out … THEN … this last week I have been hungry like mad, and giving into urges for cookies and sweets. Normally I would not even CONSIDER having a cookie when it wasn’t a planned joy eat, and here I am scarfing them down. I am on my period this week, so maybe it’s that, but it’s kinda freaking me out … This is the fourth day in a row that I’ve told myself I would NOT eat off protocol and yet I find myself doing just that. What’s freaking me out is how easily I’m grabbing the cookie. The first few days I wrestled with it, and now, today, I just grabbed it no problem and said “what the heck” and before I knew it, it was in my mouth … I do NOT want to get back in the mindset of doing this. It reminds me of who I used to be. I’ve been proud of myself for getting RIGHT back on track after protocol slips the last two months and I can’t figure out why now I’m so nonchalantly allowing myself to grabass almost every day for a week. I’m aware of how easily humans (myself) can revert to old habits and that’s why I’m kinda freaking out about it.

I will say that today when I grabbed the cookie, there was a TINY bit of relief. Like, “Okay, I don’t have to fight the desire anymore.” So is the desire back, when I thought I had finally become someone who did NOT desire crap food?

I’ve been doing models and my March thought is: “I am confident and powerful and I do not have any desire to overeat or eat off protocol.” I have 15 pounds still to lose (plus a lifetime of buffering) that I would like to overcome, so I really want to figure this out. Any idea what’s going on? How can I get back on track? Thanks so much.