Getting up by 5 am

For years, I have wanted to be able to get up by 5 am. I have read that when you do so you will be able to accomplish so much more in your work day/week. I have done several models on this and my compelling reason is that I want to feel accomplished and able to manage my time better. When the alarm goes off I don’t get up. I resist it and come up with so many reasons why this will not work. To be honest I really don’t want to get up that early but I beat myself every day for not getting up by 5 am. And then I feel like I rush all day long and all week long and don’t get to complete all of the task that I want to. I really want to live my life on purpose but this is proving to be hard work and I find myself doing well in one area and totally loosing it in another. I have brain chatter all day and end of buffering to get relief. How can I break away from this thought that if I can only get up by 5 am and start my day my life will improve and be so much better?