I have been doing quite a bit of work around this thought: I’m very generous, and I give very thoughtful gifts. And I never get anything in return.” Emotional childhood, for sure.

I am hosting a party for my employees tomorrow evening. As I’ve shopped for them and planned their gifts and bonuses, my thoughts go to: “They probably won’t get me anything.” My work this week feels like I’m white knuckling it in order to cope with what I’m predicting will happen tomorrow. Perhaps my work should be just sitting with what happens when it happens. I love giving. I love being generous. I want to do it with no strings.

Here’s one model:
C: Employee party
T: I won’t receive a gift
F: disappointed
A: say something snarky
R: continue to be upset about gift giving

Another model:
C: Employee party
T: I love giving gifts
F: joyful
A: enjoy watching my employees opening their gifts
R: feel good about my gift giving decisions

Even another:
C: Employee Party
T: I may not receive a gift, and that’s ok
F: grateful
A: thank my employees for what they do for me each day
R: enjoy my time at the party

Thanks so much!