Giving Up A Habit I’m Not Proud Of


Hi coaches,

I’ve avoided looking at this issue for a while, but I’ve decided to address it as I’m really looking closely at what I want to “give up” for good because I’ve had enough of it! (Brooke’s latest podcast).

One thing I think I should give up is looking at my ex and his new gfs instagrams. I deleted my own Instagram and haven’t used it since January, but I still search their’s through Google often.

As I’m looking, my thoughts are never that I wish I had what they had, or that I’m not happy with my own life and my own partner. My thoughts are usually that I am better and happier (not proud of this judgement, but willing to be curious!) I think I’m checking that I’m happier than them.
Which in itself means I’m insecure in my own happiness???

C: Urge to look at ex and ex’s new gf’s Instagram once per day
T: This is a waste of my time but I can give it up any time and it doesn’t hurt anyone
F: compelled (it feels habitual)
A: do some very surface level coaching to try to discover why I keep doing this, decide I do it because I want to rank my life compared to theirs, decide this is a normal human way of thinking and approve the behaviour, avoid looking deeper because it’s easier to just keep doing it
R: I hurt myself by 1. approving unconscious doubt in how happy I am and 2. wasting my own time

C: Urge to look at my ex and ex’s new gf’s Instagram once per day
T: I am confident in my own happiness and will not undermine that by comparing myself to X
F: aware
A: allow the urge to search their instagrams, practice my intentional thought, decide on purpose that I don’t want to look because by looking I am undermining myself and the changes I want to make
R: I resist looking at X’s Instagram and comparing myself to X

Am I on the right track by deciding to make this change based on it undermining my confidence in my own happiness? I think there is really no upside to looking other than a superficial boost to my confidence that I want to decide I don’t need.