My sister was in town for a week, and she left last night. I feel relieved that she is gone. When she is here, she lies on my couch listening to a podcast or cooks in my kitchen while listening to her own music or NPR or podcast. She does make a lot of food, which I feel I should be grateful for, but it’s often very cheese-laden and heavy, although not always. I think I should learn to just appreciate what is good and leave the rest, it is hard.
She stands in the kitchen with her arms folded across her chest or on her hips; she just stares at me and has an unfriendly tone. She refuses to use a top sheet on the bed; I believe she is judging me and just don’t like to hear her tone of voice. When my 5-year-old says that she doesn’t like beer, my sister says, “That’s too bad,” to her. To which I respond, “It’s not too bad. It’s good. She’s five.” I don’t like beer, and we don’t need to push a 5-year-old to like beer.
I love her and she is designated to be the person with my children if both my husband and I die, but I find it so hard to spend time with her. I don’t have anyone better to be my children’s guardian – except my mom, who can’t take care of them on her own.
I feel guilty that I’m glad she’s gone and that I should do something to make the relationship better, but I don’t have ideas of what to do and prefer to not have lots of contact with her. But that seems to imply there is something wrong with me that I can’t create a good relationship with her.