Gluten Free

Three years ago I was diagnosed with gluten sensitivity and told I could no longer eat anything at all with gluten for the rest of my life. I was not happy about this at all, bread is my favorite thing to eat … but decided to give it 6 months to see if it made any difference for me. I did not have any of the usual symptoms people usually complain of with gluten issues and had only gotten tested out of curiosity. Well … within just a few weeks I realized I could breathe much more deeply than ever before! I didn’t know my sinuses were so blocked. And then a few weeks after that I could feel my skin was not so puffy … I hadn’t even realized it was puffy. I was convinced about the gluten sensitivity and have never had it again since the day I was diagnosed three years ago. Was it easy? No. Did I hate it and feel sorry for myself? Yes. But it was worth it so I never wavered and never will.

The one area with regards to this that still creates drama for me is when my office has celebrations with food I choose not to eat. They are constantly bringing in breakfast burritos and birthday cakes. Two or three times a month. Everyone gathers around and laughs and talks and eats. Sometimes I join in and just don’t eat the food, sometimes I eat food I bring, and sometimes I just stay in my office to avoid it completely. No matter what I choose to do I end up thinking the same thoughts and they feel terrible:
I feel left out.
This isn’t fair.
Why me?
They should bring me something too.
I’m not part of the group.

I remind myself this is my choice and it’s the best thing for my health. I try the thought it is totally fine. I try to pretend it’s alcohol because I absolutely do not care at all when everyone is having a happy hour drink at the office … I’m fine and do not feel left out or like it’s unfair. I do drink occasionally but I don’t like to drive right after so I don’t do happy hour at work since I need to be able to drive myself home. And I don’t want to stay late so I usually just ignore the happy hour and just wave at them while leaving. It’s not a big deal whatsoever.

I tried doing the two models to see the difference and put in the thought for alcohol in my gluten free model and it’s just not believable for me.

I’ve been unable to change my thoughts about this and would appreciate some guidance and insights. Thank you. My models are below:

C = happy hour at work and my co-workers are drinking alcoholic beverages
T = I don’t care to socialize or have a drink right now
F = neutral
A = finish up my work, wave goodbye and wish everyone a good weekend and go home
R = I don’t think about this at all and don’t care about it

C = it’s someone’s birthday and my co-workers are eating birthday cake (or breakfast burritos)
T = I wish I could eat birthday cake too
F = left out
A = feel sorry for myself, be angry at the person who does the birthdays for not getting something for me to eat, sometimes I join in for the conversation but then I have to hear about how amazing the food is, sometimes eat an Rx bar just to have something to eat with the group
R = I continue to feel left out and hate when there are birthdays at the office