Goal – Hard Why – Model

For a long time, I wanted to accomplish a particular goal because my mother used to tell me I wasn’t good/smart/talented enough to achieve that, to the point of preventing me from taking a scholarship to go after it. I was angry at her for years, and I set it as a Fuck You goal. Since I’ve been doing the thought work, I decided that the anger doesn’t serve me anymore, and I’ve changed my thoughts about her actions so that I’m not fueled by anger anymore. The problem is that now my hard why is gone too and I’m not sure how I feel about the goal anymore. I don’t know even if I want to achieve the goal anymore. It feels like emptiness. Here’s my model on this:

C: goal – publish book. T: without the anger at my mother, I’m not sure why or even if I want this anymore. F: empty without anger. A: not querying, not revising, not writing anything else that’s mine (just freelance writing for other businesses) and feeling guilty about that because I should be, because that was my goal for so long. R: not moving forward toward any goal – no big actions – just treading water.