I am working on Monday and I have a recurring thought model:
C: I will go to work on Monday
T: I shouldn’t have to
A: grumpy at family all weekend
R: distressed family
I shouldn’t have to is a common thought for me. I don’t understand what it means to me. I am very resentful and I do models but the thought keeps coming up. I sit with it and try and process it, but I keep coming back to it each time I have to work. I am very unkind to myself while I work – thoughts about how I’m doing a bad job, how I’m useless and how I’m letting down my patients. I am aware this negative talk got me through my training and kept me motivated when I was exhausted and being bullied but now things are good. I am good at my job and I am only bullied every few months or so. What is my next step?