Hi Brooke,
I started with SCS in March. Each month, I write on the first page of the work book a little blurb that reminds me at exactly what point in the month I felt that I had learned or experienced something that was worth the price of admission, you know, the moment after which everything I get from the month is gravy. Here it is for August – Day 6- totally got my $$ worth. 24 days left and they’re all gravy after this.
My dad has dementia. One day he caught me off guard, he was fairly with it, and called to me with this big grin, so happy: Hey Aim! This movie you picked is my kind of movie! This is my kind of movie!” He was so happy, and I was so happy for him, this simple thing, picking a good movie. I ducked around a corner and felt this strong tightness in my chest, like this fearsome gratitude was gathering in my body and as it moved through me, my body literally bowed backwards from it. When it left me, all that remained was the thought “Intrinsic value. He has intrinsic value and if he does, so must I.”
This rattled around in me until I read the workbook this month and your statement “You are a product.” I’ve never heard anyone say it that way. That idea combined with the experience above and they kinda rattled against each other.
My step brother is not speaking to his father right now, he feels unworthy. So I wrote him a letter. In thinking about what to say, in trying to explain to him why he can’t possibly be unworthy, I finally got it.
He’s a finished product. He was on the day he was born. So am I. So is my Dad. We aren’t someone else’s dream. We were created by our parents, and at the moment we were born, we were their dream come true. Already. At birth. Nothing to add – of course.
Certainly, my son is my dream come true and has been from his first breath. But even if he had been my burden, he was complete on the day of his birth. There is nothing he can add to himself to make himself more. Nothing he can fail to do to make himself less.
And me too. I could lose everything I have and still be the same complete and perfect creation I was the day I was born.
I have struggled with how to understand intrinsic value, define my self worth and value myself all my life. BOOM.
Good job, Coach.
Amy