graspy needy energy I’m putting out for love/long term relationship

When I’m in my 40s and wanting a romantic relationship so badly, I really feel I’d be acting in denial to try to think it doesn’t matter. I’m often lonely at night in my home by myself. My friends are all married or with long term partners and most have children so it feels even more like an elephant to still be single.

I believe that the energy we put out can be felt by others and I don’t want to come across as needy or wanting a partner/family/children/spouse as badly as I do when I’m with someone of the opposite sex.

My thought download yesterday was:

I really want a partner.
I’m tired of being alone.
Is there something wrong with me?
I’m being invited to less social activities with friends because they’re all couples and/or have kids.
I’m being left behind.
I don’t know what else to do.
I don’t want to come across as needy.
Where in the hell can I meet someone?
I’m tired of trying.
I’m tired of thinking about this so much.
I fear being alone and never having a family.
I fear it’s too late.

I can turn these thoughts around after being aware of them – but before long – they’re back.