Grief and Weight Gain

I lost, my husband last April and have been processing that loss over the last nine months. I think I have done a good job of feeling the feelings, crying and having compassion for myself, or at least I think I did for the first six months or so.  During this process, I stopped exercising, mostly bc there were just so many doctor’s appointments, treatments, and a long hospitalization, and then I just didn’t get back on track and I started overeating and now have gained about 10 pounds. I’m not overweight perse, but I certainly don’t feel comfortable in my body and I only fit into a fraction of my clothes.  Now I am in a situation where not only am I still sitting with some sadness and challenges, but I am also dealing with this disappointment of having all this extra weight. I tell my self that I shouldn’t be overeating, I would feel better if I didn’t and that I would feel so much better if I wasn’t so uncomfortable in my body and I find myself frustrated and judging myself for not being able to separate my grief from my over-eating. I plan to do all these high-intensity classes in hopes of losing weight when I don’t really want to them. Intellectually I know that If I just ate the food that my body needed and stuck to a plan all of that wouldn’t be necessary. I set myself up for more shame and disappointment.  I am finding all these thoughts running in a loop in my head and it feels quite overwhelming and I’m just not making any forward movement, because I don’t know where to start.