I have felt amazing recently and have minimal desire to overeat or over drink. Today I found out that my aunt was admitted to hospice. I knew her health was declining and that she didn’t have long to live, so it took me off guard that I got so upset about it being made more official by her being on hospice. So this is the model that I dealt with today:
C: Aunt being admitted to hospice
T: She isn’t going to be alive much longer and I’m going to miss her so much.
A: Crying and wishing I had longer with her
R: I’m missing her even more.
I have heard you coach people on grieving in the past. It does give me comfort to know that the only negative emotion that I have just comes from my thinking, not from the situation. Right now, I’m okay with feeling sad because I know I will move through with some better feeling thoughts as it feels right for me.
The reason I posted this is because when I got home today, I was so emotionally exhausted and that craving to overeat and over drink was strong. I just wanted to check out, but I know I could get through the emotions without checking out. I heard you in the back of my mind saying, “You’ve got this, mama.” I know when my aunt actually passes, it will be many days where I feel like this and I feel proud that I can get through it without using food and wine.