growth in children and their willingness to work and achieve things

Hi, amazing coach!

Doing my monthly homework I realised that although my parents did love me unconditionally, as a child I did not realise that. I always connected their love with my accomplishments. And I did achieve quite a lot. Now I understand that this thought (that they love me because of all the great things I accomplish) is not serving me. I can choose to believe that they love me anyway and then achieve things just because I want to. However when we are children we have a little bit different mental capacities. How do we teach children to be willing to grow ? I know it may sound very basic, but how do we aspire growth in children without making them feel that their accomplishments are the reason we love them?