grumpy difficult husband


I have been working on accepting and loving my husband no matter his mood or attitude. When I am irritated with him, my mantra was ‘love him anyway’. Have compassion and love for him, accept him for who he is. Since starting self-coaching scholars I have gone deeper with that, we worked on a model during a 10-minute coaching appointment. It’s amazing how much you can do in 10 minutes. Rewording my thought really helped me, all by changing the ‘HAVE to’ to ‘WANT to.’ I am happier, more relaxed and have less anxiety with all this good work.

But my husband is so grumpy, stressed and demands so much attention. And when he isn’t getting enough attention, he becomes more difficult. Co-dependency and boundaries, big ones for me. I used to try to make him happy, but I don’t do that anymore, and I don’t let him bring me down, usually.

I have been listening to the coaching you do on the live calls. I see similarities in my situation. The part that continues to be hard for me, is that I get tired and worn down on constantly being the positive one. When my husband is grumpy and has bad energy, it takes over the whole house. It seems the happier I am, the more grumpy and quiet he is.

I keep working on managing my mind to keep myself from jumping into changing him, fixing him, or plain telling him he is grumpy and no fun, which is what I used to do. And of course, always made things worse.

Is there a communication piece I could try with him? Do I just keep going, not worry about his grumpiness and stop wishing he wasn’t so difficult? I am excited about all the fun things we have going on and I want him to come along this journey with me. I know that’s not the answer either. How do I keep my energy up?