Guests for the holidays

My question pertains to how to process emotions and clean up my thinking instead of releasing the urge of yelling, cursing, crying, blaming and venting as a form of buffering the constant tension, resentment, frustration and anxiety I feel on a daily basis. I have a core belief of “I’m not good enough” as a wife and mother. I am also reminded of this by my husband on a regular basis, which makes me react negatively towards my husband and daughters, as mentioned above.
For example, I do not enjoy cooking, especially since doing the intermittent fasting. However, according to my husband it is my obligation to cook the meals for the family. I do realize I don’t have to cook and that there are other options instead. Therefore, I vent and complain the entire time while doing it.
Another example, is that my husband’s family from Italy will be staying with us for 3 weeks during the upcoming holidays. I feel daily anxiety knowing all the cooking, cleaning, shopping, entertaining and driving around this will in tale while working a full time job.