I am single and there is a man in my apartment building who has been trying to befriend me.  He invited me to meet him for drinks with other people who live in the complex, but when I showed up, it was just me and him.  I was uncomfortable about this situation even though I stayed to have drinks with him.  He’s a nice enough man and fairly physically attractive, but I was not trying to engage him romantically since there were other things I was trying to pursue at that moment in time.
After that time, I would bump into him and he would make friendly conversation.  One night he tried to engage me in a deep conversation that I wasn’t mentally ready for and after that I slowly began to distance myself from him.  We had only hung out twice one-on-one at this point.  Once the pandemic started, I noticed I had a missed call from him, but I didn’t call back because I didn’t want to.
I really don’t dislike this guy, but I don’t want to be friends with him either because I think he might drain a lot of my time and I don’t want to encourage that. Plus, I think he likes me romantically and I’m not attracted to the way he always seems to walk around sunburned and drunk on the weekends.  I don’t see him as boyfriend material because I want to be with someone who comports himself with more class than an over-aged frat boy.  I’m feeling guilty about dodging him and I feel like he keeps trying to run into me to reconnect with me.  Nosy, nosy neighbors.

Unintentional Model
C: M walked by my apartment
T: He is trying too hard
F: Annoyed
A: Try to avoid him, pretend I never got his call, avoid spending time with him, don’t go out to the pool, judge him for drinking all day and laying around, wish that he were more ambitious so I could actually think of him as a potential partner
R: I feel uncomfortable living in my apartment building

Intentional Model
C: M walked by my apartment
T: It’s my choice if I want to have a conversation with him or not
F: Free
A: Don’t feel obligated to give him closure about why I pulled away, only offer an explanation if he directly asks me for one, be cordial but maintain my distance,
R: I decide who I communicate with and how I communicate with them