Hate


Hi,
I constantly have hate thoughts towards my husband. He will fall asleep watching tv or putting the kids to bed. I will lock up the house and go to bed myself. He wakes up later, comes in our room and expects me to have sex with him. I have explained to him that I do not want to have sex once Im all tucked in. I feel distant and bothered… When he starts insisting, I will tell him that I don’t feel like it. He usually insists and the majority of time I will give in because I want to give him what he wants because Im his wife. Then I usually have a shitty attitude and don’t enjoy it. He even comments, saying he likes when Im into it. He says he will respect my wishes because its worth it when I want to be close, he feels a connection. He continues to do this. I need to have respect for myself and stick to my words. I feel bad if I don’t give it to him and so much anger and sadness at the same time. I feel so much hate towards him and Im trying to break it down in the model. I feel like theres more to it. During the day, sometimes he yells at the kids, talks down to me or seems to point out what he dislikes. I seem to hold resentment towards him and feel mad when he tries to get close to me. In my opinion he doesn’t deserve it. I have done models on these thoughts as well but I can’t seem to get rid of my hate feel which is horrible. I have attached my model but I’m thinking there are many other thoughts that may break down my feeling of hate. I had trouble filling in the circumstance. Looking forward to your feedback. Thank you!

Unintentional
C- Husband falls asleep while putting the kids to bed, awakes, then comes in our bed.
T- Idiot! Here he comes, he’s going to try and have sex with me.
F- Hate
A- Lay still, think negative thoughts.
R- I hate him for it.
Intentional
C- Husband falls asleep while putting the kids to bed, awakes, then comes in our bed.
T- Its bedtime
F- Understanding
A- Compassion towards him
R- Love