Having trouble managing my anger as a parent

Hi there, I’m learning through Scholars that it’s vitally important to feel your feelings (“feelings are for feeling”), and that we don’t need to act from the feeling.

Well, I’m having trouble implementing this as a stay at home mom of an 8 and 6 year old. How do you feel anger (even rage) when triggered by your kids, and still choose a different way to respond?! (Different tone, different words, different actions)

I find myself constantly feeling:
– annoyed
– Frustrated
– angry
– irritated

And I keep responding to it in ways I’m not proud of. I feel like I’m being condescending towards them, and I don’t like that because I want to be properly guiding them, not putting them down because I keep thinking they make me feel bad. I feel so much shame that I’m constantly annoyed by them! Help!