He Hasn’t Texted

I had a really nice third date last night and before he left, he said he would text me today about figuring out our next date. It’s 10:30pm and I haven’t heard from him.

He has seemed like a really solid guy so far and now I feel like maybe he’s not reliable. Maybe he’s not that into me. Maybe he’s just like all the other guys out there who talk a good game and then don’t back it up with action. Maybe he had a date with someone else today and he’s hooking up with her.

I have already journaled about this and wrote out some thoughts I’m having that aren’t helping and some other thoughts that would feel better. The best I can do right now is to just allow myself to feel this painful feeling.

The problem is, as more time goes by—I don’t think I’ll hear from him tonight and more bad-feeling thoughts keep arising. I feel vulnerable and emotionally triggered. I’m also hurt and disappointed. I’m questioning the connection and feeling like I’ve over-invested and he must not be that invested.

I want to be kind to myself and support myself as much as possible with this. But really, I wish I just wasn’t triggered and could just be like “Cool, well we’ll see if I hear from him again and cross that bridge when it comes and not worry about it in the meantime.” But in reality, I could almost cry.

We met on Bumble, and I know he’s gone on a couple dates with other people since we met and doesn’t want to be exclusive yet. I don’t necessarily have a problem with that but wish he hadn’t said it out loud (that he had gone on other dates) so it wasn’t so top of mind for me. So that’s definitely part of where my mind is going that’s inducing fear.

Any advice on how to work through this, especially since the new thoughts aren’t sticking?