We are on a vacation for my birthday and Christmas and it didn’t turn out as he expected so he said he’s not really enjoying it.
C – we are on a vacation and he said he’s not enjoying the trip as it wasn’t what he expected
T – I’m feeling bad because I want him to enjoy it as well since I am enjoying it
F – feel bad
A – make him look at the positive things and ask questions so he can shift his pov and enjoy the trip
R – forcing things which he doesn’t like
I guess I’m at a loss sometimes, because I feel like I need to control how he feels so I can also feel better.
Am I doing it right by the below intentional model?
C – bf said he’s not enjoying the trip as it wasn’t what he expected
T – I wonder why he doesn’t enjoy the trip
F – curious
A – ask him questions why
R – get to know each other?
I sometimes have a hard time since I have a lot of “shoulds”, like needing to control the world and what other people do and feel so I don’t feel bad. How can I just allow people to just be and do I just accept that they’re not happy and try not to help? Isn’t that a bit selfish?