He wants to travel to Cali tomorrow


My husband and I separated last September but we still own and live in the same house. We live in Vancouver Canada and the woman he left me for lives in California. My husband is loading the truck with furniture and other stuff as I write this. He says he will leave tomorrow and travel to California…

This after he told me 2 weeks ago that he will be staying here since he has a responsibility for our buisness and our animals and me. Well I guess he lost that sense of responsibility because now he’s leaving tomorrow. I mentioned the travel restrictions but he is convinced that they can’t stop him from crossing the border…

There are so many thoughts that come up with this situation and I did a thought download
– I will sit here all alone and by myself for months during this social distancing with all the responsibility for our house and animals (Here in BC Canada they say the restrictive measures will last at least till July !!)
– I will not see anyone for months
– He should obey the travel restrictions
– How dare he thinks the rules are for everyone else but him
– What if he gets sick? What if he makes someone sick?
– When I get sick I will be on my own and the animals will have nobody to look after them
– and many more, nastier ones that I don’t want to share here

I did some models but as so often, I struggle with the R-line …. here some examples:

UI Model
C = (ex)husband planning to move across the border tomorrow
T = I will sit here all alone and by myself for months during this social distancing with all the responsibility for our house and animals (Here in BC Canada they say the restrictive measures will last at least till July !!)
F = scared
A = hoping they don’t let him cross the border, texting friends and telling them about it, buffering with Scholars and SM, hoping for a miracle, feeling sorry for myself, wasting time away doing unnecessary things
R = ?

and this UI with another feeling. The actions are still almost the same other than earlier today I scolded the dog loudly for eating the cat food, then I felt bad for overreaccting…

C = (ex)husband planning to move across the border tomorrow
T = (read with sarcastic voice: ) So much for him saying just last week how he has a responsibility for me, our house and our animals in this uncertain and unprecedented situation.
F = angry
A = hoping they don’t let him cross the border, texting friends and telling them about it, buffering with Scholars and SM, hoping for a miracle, feeling sorry for myself, wasting time away doing unnecessary things, scolding the animals and then feeling sorry,
R = I am not taking responsibility (??)

I understand the R-line should confirm the T-line, so it would be “he is leaving” and maybe “I am not taking responsibility” ? At this time I can’t even think of other thoughts that I could think but maybe you have some ideas for bridge or ladder thoughts (btw where do I find an explanation of what exactly the difference between a bridge and a ladder thought is?)

Any input? Thank you so much