Hi Brooke,

I have two models below about from the initial post I asked about marriage.

C- Wedding Date
T I’m not ready.
F Fear
A Spin in thoughts, consider cancelling the wedding
R Don’t spend time thinking how I can prepare myself

C Wedding Date
T I used my fiancé to fill a void.
F Fear
A spin in thoughts, hide behind him, don’t do thought work on this
R Create void in myself

I asked myself why about my thoughts and what comes up is that I’m not ready because I haven’t dealt with my crap about myself. My fiancé helps dull the pain of the crap thoughts that come up when I’m alone. I know I use him as a buffer at times. I know I cannot continue to do this. Both thoughts feel so true even though they are thoughts. I want to get to I’m totally ready to marry Aaron and I can love Aaron for who he is because I love myself for who I am. Maybe too there is no void to fill because I’m whole. I can look at my thoughts and take care of myself. Maybe a more neautral thought is – It’s possible that I’m ready to marry Aaron. I’m learning how to handle my thoughts and emotions. It’s all okay.

Thanks Brooke!