Heightened anxiety


For whatever reason I seem to be in a state of heightened worry or anxiety this last week. I’m doing my TDL and generally trying to be more aware this morning, I realized this – not only am I kind of anxious for myself but I am also having anxiety for others. And THIS is a classic example:

I noticed that I have been imagining Jeff (audio/visual guy on all the SCS calls) as some “scary authoritative” person who was there judging the coaches and running back to Brooke to “report on them”.

Specific example – Monday hour one with Tyson, Jeff evidently told Tyson that his mic/sound was off and so Tyson switched and it was perfect. I caught myself imagining being Tyson and in that moment felt judged, anxious, stupid. Thoughts of others (Jeff, Brooke) judging me, thinking I should be more prepared, I might lose my job etc. (this is all as if I were in Tyson’s shoes).

It was great awareness to see that that is basically what I’m doing a lot of times. That it’s not just my situation but extended to others. Anxiety on over-drive.

The best I am finding to soothe it right now is the the thought “I’m having thoughts. And I don’t need to believe ANY of them.”

The interesting thing is, only a month ago I was congratulating myself for feeling so much more in control of my mind and noticing results from that. Just wanted to share, and appreciate any feedback.