So today i had the first exam of my study application. And it was a group assignment where we had to solve something together. The task was so perplex and I was already nervous so I didn’t bring in that much. The professors were observing us and like a lot of people I didn’t want to be to bossy but also didn’t want to do nothing. So the thought of “don’t say anything stupid, watch out etc” were a constant companion. So I wasn’t myself there which led to me feeling regret, resentment, anger and sadness. A mix of all of them. I also compared myself to the others. And I thought of two girls that participated: she is so good, she was so confident and special. I also talked to one of the girls and I explained to her that I wasn’t fully myself in there etc. And she told me that she knows she wants this and she just said what she thinks etc. She was so convinced and she didn’t care. And that made me more regretful firstly because I made her see my regrets and thoughts and she she thinks of me as a poor, little, insecure girl. And secondly because I was not brave and bold and showed the others how I really was because you know I wanted to make a good impression because I have to get in this school!! Luckily, there is a second part to this exam that will be a one to one conversation. So how can I not concentrate so much on how good my impression is and more on how I can be myself and show them the real me and the passion I have for this school/study?? I’m not a shy or a self conscious person except if its such a big deal like this school. When I have to lose something. Help!