Brooke,

I need help writing my commitment for the year. I would like to do a few things. The first is to improve my relationship with my husband. We are closing in on ’empty nester’ years and I want to be excited about all of the things we will get to do together after many years of raising our family. The second is to determine the next step for me in this upcoming phase of life. I have been at home for 20 years (I still have a couple to go to launch my last child), and am excited at the prospect of pursuing a career when all the kids are gone.

My first question is: is there a commitment statement that would address both of these desires? My second question is: how do i go about setting a qualitative goal and then creating a measuring system to guide and track my success? The statement “I want to better my relationship with my husband through improving communication and engaging in more activities as a couple” still sounds very general to me and somewhat dependent on him for success.

Clearly I am not where I would like to be in my relationship with my husband or this wouldn’t be on my radar. I know it is my thoughts that are limiting me in this arena of life. The coaching on ‘annoyance’ and ‘love neutralizing ME’ have helped to open my mind to the limitations presented by my current way of thinking. I would like learn how to incorporate LOVE, compassion and acceptance as leading thoughts in my brain. I think this would negate the desire for approval, strengthen my resolve to not only respect my boundaries but to empower me to put my needs out into the world, and, last, to lessen my desire to control my husbands behavior. This isn’t about loving him more (I love him dearly), it is about liking him more; about feeling more connected to him as my life partner and appreciated by him.

Thank you for what you put out in the world.