Help defining my ‘why’ for losing weight

I’m trying to articulate WHY exactly I want to lose weight. I feel very certain that this is what I want to focus on in 2020. I know it’s not because I think I’ll be happier, and it’s not because I think a lower weight will generate confidence (because I know my thoughts do that)…honestly I chose an impossible goal of losing 40 lbs in 2020 because I want to know what it feels like to be in that version of my body, I want to perform better in my fitness activities (running & cycling), and because I just want to do it. For me. I know that the process of managing my emotions and my mind in service of reaching the goal will help me see all that I’m capable of, and I’ll be able to use what I learn toward future goals unrelated to weight loss. But I’m still not sure any of this is compelling enough…like couldn’t I get all of these results at my current weight by working directly on my thoughts, not pursuing this specific goal? That’s where I get tripped up. Thoughts/suggestions on how to work through this?